I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
