guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
