At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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