Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
