I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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