Have you finally orgasmed yet?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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