my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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