If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
