i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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