i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
