She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
