I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
My ass is underappreciated
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
