he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
