i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
