I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Having a random hookup so left but love u
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
