Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
