You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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