C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
