I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
no you cant smoke seaweed
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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