I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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