Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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