I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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