would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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