Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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