tonight lets celebrate not being married
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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