I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize