I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Pants are for mortals
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
