This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
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