Sry I called you an 8
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Found your dick twin last night
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
