he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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