My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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