my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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