Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
