i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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