what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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