i think my tv is drunk
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
