I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
