You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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