we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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