do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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