Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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