wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
