Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
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