The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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