Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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