I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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