omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
