Christians are straight up FREAKS
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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