yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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