just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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