After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize