so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
