He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize