You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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