what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize