Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
