Porn is love you can see.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
