I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize