you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
