she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm both gender and math confused
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
