this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
