he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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