Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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