we're chasing vodka with high fives
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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