At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
