she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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