Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
