you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
