I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
My vagina just recognized that song.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize