I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
North Korea, Best Korea!
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
