if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize