if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
