Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I am midnight drunk by noon
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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