new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
