lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
