I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
