I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
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