i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
