it wasn't lemon gatorade
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
