He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
